It is hard to believe that I have less than a month left in Cambodia. Days seem to be flying by, whereas when I first arrived, time moved quite slowly. I am careful not to take these last days for granted, as I know I will miss the children very much when I am back in New York.
All the children know I am leaving this month, so they have begun to ask me what day and time I am going to the airport. It is hard to hear them ask when my last day is, because I am not sure how to approach the issue. I tell them when I am leaving, but then I tell them that I will try to return next summer and that more volunteers will come to be with them in the meantime. However, this answer does not seem to satisfy them, as they continue to look at me and hold on to me tighter. In the next few weeks, I must help them adjust to the idea that I will be leaving soon. It will be difficult for the children, since I lived with them at the orphanage for the entire summer.
However, other children are having a much different reaction. Some of the older boys, realizing that the summer is almost over, have asked me to buy them items that they cannot afford. Buying things for the children was a constant the entire summer; whenever I went to the market, a crowd of children would come expecting I would buy them hair gel or ice cream. The first few times I obliged, but it was unrealistic for me to buy items for ten children each time I needed something from the store, especially if this was in addition to my weekly donation of fruit for the entire orphanage. Once it was clear I only had a few weeks left, one older boy continually asked me to buy him an iPod or give him mine.
The feeling of obligation that plagued me the entire summer has gotten worse lately since I am leaving soon. The pressure is not only coming from the kids, but from the staff as well. A few staff members would come with us to the market expecting me to buy them things, and it made me very uncomfortable. Even when buying fruit for all the kids, there was no word of thanks from the staff. It was just something I was supposed to do. I was happy to purchase things for the children, but I felt that it should be my decision about what I am buying and when. I would much rather buy all the kids fruit than buy ice cream for the few kids that happen to see me leaving for the market.
Learning from the volunteers who were here before me, I saw that this was simply the way things were around the orphanage. The American teachers would always buy things for the children. However, I do not think it is appropriate for the children to think of their English teachers as people who will buy them anything whenever they ask. Because of this system, I notice that some of the kids have become very spoiled. They will pick the most expensive item, and then it is usually broken or stolen within the next week because they do not take care of their belongings.
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