From August 3, 2008

From August 3, 2008

Life at Palm Tree has been difficult for the past week. There are only three Americans teachers left. At one point, we had ten or eleven volunteers, and the children were overjoyed! However, it is now just Becca, Evan and I, and we are struggling to make up the difference. Adding to this pressure is the fact that the power outages have increased in frequency, and there is no running water in my room. I look forward to going back home, if for the hot shower alone!

One evening, we planned to have a movie night for the kids. We picked up a pirated version of Wall-E from the market, and asked if we could gather all the kids after dinner to watch it. However, the power was off all day and, by dinner time, had not yet returned. One of the staff asked if we wanted to run the generator. However, the generator costs $30 dollars an hour, not including the price of gasoline. I did not see the point in paying that much, especially since we could just watch the movie another night. I told them we would watch it when the power returned later that week.

Since there was nothing else to do, Becca and I walked to a nearby gas station to sit in the air conditioning. It was not that dark yet, so we felt we were safe. We stayed for about an hour, but upon leaving, we realized it had started to rain. We were several blocks away, and we knew it would begin pouring rain at any moment. The street in front of the orphanage would be flooded in about ten minutes. To avoid this, we ran! We sprinted the entire way back, dodging motos and trying to ignore the fact that the lightning was incredibly close to where we were. Soaking wet and out of breath, we finally reached the gates of the orphanage. Upon entering, we were not greeted in any way you would greet someone who is clearly frightened and soaked. One of the boys asked us to buy gasoline for the generator. We told him we had already talked about it with the staff, and we would watch the movie another time. We retreated to our dark room to change our clothes and bathe out of five gallon buckets.

Fifteen minutes later, we heard a knock on the door. Another one of the older boys wanted to know why we did not want to pay for the generator. I was shocked that he would ask us that! I told him it was too expensive for us, especially since we could just watch it another day this week. To my surprise, he began arguing with me! He told me the children wanted to watch it very badly because they were all bored. I could not understand what the problem was. Why would we pay over $100 dollars for them to watch a movie I bought for $2 dollars at the market? I tried to explain to the best of my ability that it was too expensive, and then I closed the door.

But they knocked again! Now there was a group of older kids outside my door. This time, they told me the staff agreed to pay for the generator so they just needed the movie. Of course, they were lying. They said this expecting that I would say “oh no, the staff should not pay for it, here’s the money!” However, at this point, I felt really uncomfortable that they were bothering me all night about the movie. I gave them the DVD. Remarkably, the children began examining the movie, to see if it met their approval! One of the boys said, “Is this all you have?”

I was so frustrated. I was simply trying to do something nice for the children by buying them a movie. But this is where that feeling of obligation sets in once again. It was not enough that I thought of the kids to plan a movie night, but I must also pay nearly a hundred dollars so they can watch it right that moment. It made no sense to me, and left me feeling guilty the rest of the week.