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From June 19, 2008

Yesterday, I experienced my first holiday in Cambodia. June 18 marked “Mother of the King Day,” which celebrates the King’s mother’s birthday. The children had off from school, so I found myself with a free day to explore the town. I first cautiously asked about the holiday, since I wondered whether stores would be open or not. My unfamiliarity with the day prompted several staff members to ask if we had a similar holiday in America. I told them a bit about President’s Day, but informed them that did not have holidays to celebrate any of the President’s family members. The thought of “National Barbara Bush Day” made me laugh a bit to myself.

I decided to take advantage of my day off and visit the National Museum. The museum houses a great deal of ancient Khmer sculptures, mostly images of Buddha. Many of the pieces were from Angkor Wat, which made me very excited for my trip there, which will hopefully take place in July. Afterwards, I visited a restaurant run by an NGO; all of the profits go towards fighting child trafficking and exploitation. Since I am interested in their work, I also stopped by their office to network and find about more about how I could become involved. However, I was a bit disappointed. Though the office was clearly open to visitors, the workers inside did not seem to understand why I was there. I was greeted by two women, one Cambodian and one Western, who both spoke English fluently, but they did not seem interested in talking to me. I asked if there were any upcoming fundraisers or events, to which they replied no. Then, on the wall, I noticed there was a public training session the very next day! I could not understand why they were not more receptive, especially when I was obviously interested in their mission.

In speaking to people about Cambodia in the past, many people remarked that the country is, in general, a very friendly place. However, I find quite the opposite! Aside from people at the orphanage, who are lovely and quite caring, I have yet to meet someone in central Phnom Penh who I would describe as friendly. Some of this could be attributed to the language difference. But most of my interactions have been very brusque and cold. Everyone seems very detached and distant. Recently, I thought of something a mentor told me when she learned I was interested in working in Cambodia. She told me that when she visited, she felt a tension in the city. I feel this tension too, and I am not sure if it can be attributed to the nation’s history or poverty or another issue altogether.

I must also realize that these interactions may be skewed because I am a woman. Though things are far from equal between men and women in America, it is entirely permissible for a woman to travel alone or to move out from her parents’ home before she is married. This is not the case in Cambodia, as I discussed with two teachers at the orphanage earlier today. One teacher was telling me about a problem she is having with her family. She wants to continue her education and be a college professor, but her mother is giving her trouble because the classes are at night. Her mother did not see travelling alone at night to be appropriate behavior for a young woman. The teachers also told me about how women cannot move out from their family’s home until they are married, and how marriage is not an option unless the woman is “original”, meaning a virgin. After this conversation, I realize that perhaps my cold interactions with townspeople have to do with the fact that I am a woman, on my own, in a foreign nation. The cultural perceptions of women change from country to country, and I must keep that in mind during my travels.

This week, I have attempted to talk with the older children to learn more about them. I was surprised to find that many of them are very willing to discuss their pasts with me. One boy told me about how he lived on the street for several years. He was brought to the Palm Tree Orphanage with a group of friends, who eventually ended up leaving and resorting to a life of crime. Last he heard, they were in prison for robbing tourists. We talked about why he stayed and his goals for one day being a businessman. One girl told me that her parents died from AIDS, and that she has living grandparents, but they rarely visit. She told me that she was very upset and lonely when she first came to the orphanage, but has since come to think of it as her home.

Though I cannot communicate with many of the younger kids, their actions often tell me a bit about their pasts as well. A few of the children have begun hitting me when I do something they do not like. This may either mean getting up to get a drink of water or playing with another child momentarily. Each time, the same thing will happen. The child will rear his or her arm back very far, and slap me across the face or punch me. Sometimes they just threaten to hit me, which is equally disturbing. Since I cannot communicate to them in English, I try to show them that this is not acceptable, but I am not sure that the message gets through. Last time, I went to my room and ended our playtime, to signal to them that something had gone wrong. Either way, the children clearly learned that behavior from somewhere and it disturbs me to think about them being hurt in such a way.